Resourceful-Mom

Child Support Briefly Explained

I have seen where the purpose of child support appears to be misunderstood.  Recently, I’ve even heard of a young mother that didn’t feel that she should still pursue child support since the father chooses to no longer be in the the child’s life.  Nonesense.

Child support is just that, support for your child.  As a custodial parent (mother or a father), it is your responsibility to ensure that your child’s needs are supplied.  There is nothing wrong or unfair about accepting or pursuing child support from the other parent.

The majority of the time I raised my daughter, I did it without consistent support from her father.  Now, I didn’t say that he did not assist, I stated he did not regularly supply child support.   What’s the difference you might ask?

Without on time, consistent support it is difficult to manage a household.  Food, shelter and utilities tend to be pretty consistent, therefore, assistance from the other parent needs to consistent as well.  After a while, and for the sake of peace, I decided that I was the only true constant in my situation.  By that I mean the check I received from my job was the only thing I could depend on.  So, I lived within whatever means my check provided.

Now looking back on the situation, my decision to not aggressively pursue child support was a very selfish one.  Far more selfish than someone that pursues child support.  I took the matter personally and, as a result, we struggled in some areas when it wasn’t necessary.

Here’s the thing, as the custodial parent, I could not put a certain percentage of my check to side specifically for the care of my daughter, like her father could.  She either benefited or not as a result of how well I was doing.  If I could not pay the light bill, guess what?  We were sitting in the dark together. The money I brought home had to “make do” until I received money again.

The thought of someone justifying not assisting in the care of their child because they don’t choose to be in the child’s life or because they fear the mother will “do something else” with the money is very immature.  Think of all the things you need a day.  Now, think about your child.  It’s a child, if they aren’t provided for then they won’t have.

If your child’s mother is a horrible money manager, she was that before you met her.  Not providing support for you child is punishing the child for the mom’s shortfalls.  It’s not the child’s fault.  If you aren’t present in your child’s life, then you should be. Children need both parents.  If you choose not to be present in the life of your child, that is your choice; however, supporting your child should be a given.