Resourceful-Mom

2 Things You Can Do While Awaiting Mr. Right

The opposite of a single mom would be a married mom.  Right?  Well, after listening to the tone used when referring to single mothers, you may start  feeling like life has given you the short end of the stick.  Being a parent, mother or father, single or in a relationship comes with challenges.  Anyone responsible for raising a child  has the same goal of fitting 30 hours of tasks into 24 hours.  Having someone to support you, someone to depend on and someone to share in the cost can definitely make parenting easier, i.e.  the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child”; however,  it doesn’t necessarily have to be a significant other.

Being a single mom, you probably have the same uncanny ability to spot a mother with a wedding ring as a married man can spot a single guy with a beautiful tall young woman. The grass is seldom greener on the other side.  The key to life is working miracles with what you have while, in the process, making it what you want.  I like to say ‘Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do”. Comparing your life to others just won’t get you where you want to be.

The issue, to be honest, isn’t  necessarily that you are a single parent. The issue is that with one income, you are primarily focusing on providing the basics (food and shelter) for your family and rightly so.  You may not be as concerned with self improvement because you’re too busy with all the responsibilities that come along with being a parent.  In addition, because there is only one income, your options for housing may be limited to an area that you wouldn’t necessarily choose if you had more money.  Notice, I didn’t say if you were married.

Although it’s strongly suggested that children be born to two parent households, #1 it doesn’t always go as planned and #2 that isn’t always the best choice.   With 9.8 million single mothers, our society has recognized that Speed Dating isn’t necessarily the answer.  Nope, online dating isn’t either – Smile.  What they have realized is education and better housing choices are viable solutions.  As single mothers, our kids either progress or digress based on where we are.  If we don’t pursue our education and consciously choose better areas to live, in the end, it affects our children.  Of course, there are the success stories written every other day about the “overnight success” that came from practically nothing.  But those stories are few and far between.  I’d be willing to bet if you put that up against that 9.8 mil it wouldn’t move the scale.

Financial assistance, along with, grants and scholarships minimize or aleiviate the cost of continuing education. These programs, created for single mothers, are made available for the  purpose of helping us increase our income.  Even if you are still on the fence about returning to college, take some time to review your options using a college or university search engine.   The average salary for someone with a bachelors degree is around $50,000.   I’d say that any entity that puts more money in my pocket is my partner; they are on my side.

OK, let’s say that you’ve never been the college type, there are other ways to continue your education that will still make your resume pop.  My daughter, interested in Medical Coding, recently completed a 6 week course through Ed2Go.  The instructor provided the students with industry tips, information on the current job market and multiple avenues to obtain employment.  Turns out, there are a lot of online jobs available. Will she have to prove herself?  Absolutely but after finishing any class, college or otherwise, we have to prove that we can convert what we learned in class into something valuable for potential employers.

With a higher income, you could reduce your debt, involve the kids in extracurricular activities, maintain a car and, if you’d like, purchase a home.  Down payment assistance and lower interest rates make home buying an achievable goal, even in this economy.  Qualifying for a home consists of an acceptable credit score, a down payment and proof of income.  The exact credit score and down payment can vary based on the home buyer programs available to you.

I am in no way minimizing the need for companionship but, while waiting on your knight in shining armour to arrive, continue advancing for both your sake and the sake of your kids.  You just might attract Mr. Right in the process .